Last night I had one of those nights. You know the ones I am referring to; when you go to bed absolutely mind-numbingly tired, and end up lying awake for hours.
I know that the logical thing to do is to just get up and do something productive, but that would be too easy.
Here’s what actually happens when you can’t sleep.
You suddenly become the most amazing mathematician of all time
If I go to bed now, I will get 21600 seconds of sleep.
You start exaggerating your tiredness
“If I don’t go to bed now I am going to be SO TIRED TOMORROW. LIKE I WON’T EVEN BE ABLE TO EXIST. THAT’S HOW TIRED I’M GOING TO BE.”
You think about your embarrassing moments and past failures
Me: Okay I am ready to go to bed now
Brain: Remember that time when you were 5-years-old and you farted at someone’s wedding
You think about every demon you have ever had
Welcome to my flat, demons. So nice of you to pop in at 1am. How long will you be staying? Forever? Okay then.
You have mental fights with anyone who has ever wronged you
Don’t look at your phone. Don’t look at your phone. Don’t look at your –
HOLY HECK IT’S 2AM I HAVE BEEN AWAKE FOR CENTURIES
Eventually, after going through the above process 300 times, you fall asleep. And this is what happens the next day.
Nobody in the history of time has ever been more tired than me.
“Kind regards, Ajna”
Everyone else at the office got a full night’s rest last night.
More self pity
I wonder if it’s possible to die from missing a few hours’ sleep? I bet it is.
Worrying about not getting sleep again
I am too scared to go to bed, because what if I end up lying awake again the whole night?
Falling asleep with your mouth open
Nevermind, false alarm.