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28 Apr

Grocery shopping thoughts

I have never enjoyed going grocery shopping. As much as I love food, I hate shopping for it. I prefer food to either be in my fridge or in my stomach, not on a supermarket shelf.

 

I was born with a patience deficiency, so shopping is especially trying to me. If you see me at Woolies or Pick ‘n Pay looking really confused or aggressive, this is what I am thinking.

 

“Should I take a trolley or a basket? I’m probably only going to buy bread and milk. I don’t need a trolley. Let me take a basket.”

 

“Oh, look! They have long life milk on special! Better buy it in bulk.”

 

“Aaaah yeah… Bulk buying like a pro. I’m saving so much money right now. Look at me. I am such a successful adult. Nobody has their shit together like me.”

brooklyn99gifs.tumblr.com

brooklyn99gifs.tumblr.com

“MY ARM IS BREAKING. WHY DID I CHOOSE A BASKET AND NOT A TROLLEY?”

 

“Okay, I have a trolley now. Things are going to be smoother now…”

 

“I guess I’d better call an exorcist because this trolley seems to be possessed.”

 

“WHY IS IT NOT GOING WHERE I WANT IT TO GO?!”

 

“Ah, I see. I need to steer it left when I want to go right. I can do this.”

 

“Bread. Bread. Bread. You came here for bread.”

 

“Of course my favourite bread is sold out. Blerrie peasants probably got to it before me.”

 

“Fine. I’ll settle for Salticrax.”

 

“Haha Salticrax would be terrifying if they were literal.”

 

“FOCUS, ANJA. YOU CAME HERE FOR BREAD AND MILK.”

popkey.co

popkey.co

“Where is that demonic sound coming from? Is that… is it… a Ringwraith?”

 

“It’s coming from that baby over there. I’m never having one of tho-“

 

“AAAW LOOK AT ITS CUTE OUTFIT AND PINK CHEEKS AND CURLY HAIR!!!”

gifsec.com

gifsec.com

“Anja, you came here for bread and milk. It’s time to wrap this party up.”

 

“Wow, I really feel like some salami now…”

 

“Why does salami cost more than a year at university?”

 

“Okay let me go buy these items. Which queue looks the shortest…hmm…”

 

“One, two, three, four, fifty… WHY ARE YOU IN THE TEN ITEMS OR LESS QUEUE, YOU SHIT?”

www.tumblr.com

www.tumblr.com

“Ooooh, what kind of chocolate is this? I’ve never seen it before. Better add it to my cart for research purposes.”

 

“Why is Amor Vittone always on the cover of Die Huisgenoot?”

 

“Should I start packing my groceries out so long? Or will it be rude?”

 

“I hope the cashier switches the machine on so that I can watch my groceries slide to her like magic.”

 

“FINE, REACH FOR MY GROCERIES THEN.”

 

“It’s weird that they ask you if you want a plastic bag. I wonder who even brings plastic bags with them when they go shopping.”

 

“I feel like Ryan Seacrest looks like the kind of person who would fold up plastic bags in neat little triangles and bring them to his local grocer.”

giphy.com

giphy.com

“Ah, I am so glad this is over. Now I can go home and eat salami and Salticrax and live my best li-“

 

“Fuck! I forgot to buy toothpaste.”

 

 

4 Comments
  • Leigh-Ann Otto

    Lols lols. This was hysterical!

    You really need to shop online!!!

    I add all the things I want to my cart during the week, check out on a Thursday and it arrives Friday night.

    When I remember I need something, like toothpaste, I quickly open the app and add it to my basket.

    It’s saved me SO much money and not having to deal with people is the best!

    April 28, 2016 at 9:21 am Reply
  • Julie

    This is me, like every time. Also Woolworths is always freezing cold and I always tell them that on Twitter – don’t think they care :/

    April 28, 2016 at 10:04 am Reply
  • Zoë Backhouse

    LMAO! This is hilarious and so relatable!
    “Why is Amor Vittone always on the cover of Die Huisgenoot? ”
    Hahahahahaha ;D

    xoxo

    April 28, 2016 at 1:08 pm Reply
  • San-Mari Grundlingh

    L
    O
    V
    E your blog!!

    May 11, 2016 at 9:16 am Reply

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