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10 Feb

How to get stupidly drunk on Valentine’s Day

I seriously have no time for Valentine’s Day. Even when I had a boyfriend I was just like: NOPE.

I don’t want chocolates, diamonds, cupids or teddy bears. I want burgers and chips and a Mr Price voucher. Because I’m a classy bitch like that.

I seriously don’t get Valentine’s Day – you’re supposed to show people you love them everyday.

Whatever your feelings about Valentine’s Day, here’s a fool proof way to have yourself a good time this Friday. Enjoy!

1. Pour yourself a drank


2. Put some lipstick on, because you deserve to look hawt. (Even though you’re single as shit)


3. Drink everytime you see a “I don’t need a man!” tweet.


Cool story, bro.

4. Drink everytime you see a sad Facebook status.


5. Drink everytime you see a smug “I’m so in love!” status.


6. Drink everytime you see a Valentine’s Day ad on TV.


7. Drink everytime someone invites you to a singles only party.


Okay, fuck it. I might as well drink from the bottle.

8. Drink everytime you think about going to a singles party.


9. Drink everytime you hear a soppy love song.


We were both young when I first saaaaaaaaaawwww yooooou!

10. Pass out with your lover.


  • Charlene

    Hahahaha… Love it! Tuesday morning laugh sorted! 🙂

    February 11, 2014 at 8:08 am Reply
  • Laura Jane

    Haha! Love this!

    February 11, 2014 at 8:37 am Reply
  • Christine

    Point 10: Cuddle with your dog, in his bed.

    February 11, 2014 at 9:33 am Reply
  • Gugu_A1

    1 hell of a party LOL! Love it.

    February 11, 2014 at 3:33 pm Reply
  • Leana

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha! 🙂

    February 12, 2014 at 5:32 am Reply
  • Nomali

    Ahahahahahah! Hilarious. “Drink when your mother phones to find out what you’re up to” should also be a step.

    Just drink.


    February 12, 2014 at 8:20 am Reply

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