I seriously have no time for Valentine’s Day. Even when I had a boyfriend I was just like: NOPE.
I don’t want chocolates, diamonds, cupids or teddy bears. I want burgers and chips and a Mr Price voucher. Because I’m a classy bitch like that.
I seriously don’t get Valentine’s Day – you’re supposed to show people you love them everyday.
Whatever your feelings about Valentine’s Day, here’s a fool proof way to have yourself a good time this Friday. Enjoy!
1. Pour yourself a drank
2. Put some lipstick on, because you deserve to look hawt. (Even though you’re single as shit)
3. Drink everytime you see a “I don’t need a man!” tweet.
Cool story, bro.
4. Drink everytime you see a sad Facebook status.
5. Drink everytime you see a smug “I’m so in love!” status.
6. Drink everytime you see a Valentine’s Day ad on TV.
7. Drink everytime someone invites you to a singles only party.
Okay, fuck it. I might as well drink from the bottle.
8. Drink everytime you think about going to a singles party.
9. Drink everytime you hear a soppy love song.
We were both young when I first saaaaaaaaaawwww yooooou!