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8 May

2018 Met Gala Red Carpet Rant

I haven’t done a Red Carpet Rant in almost a year, and the reason for this is twofold:

1. I have an office job and it’s difficult for me to write reactive content. Usually, by the time I get around to viewing red carpet photos, it’s too late for a post.

2. Like most things, Twitter has spoilt this for me by being offended by EVERYTHING. I actually had to take precious time out of my life last year to explain the definition of satire to people. In case any of you still don’t know, here you go.

Satire: a way of criticizing people or ideas in a humorous way.

This comes directly from the Cambridge Dictionary.

If you still don’t understand the meaning, here’s another definition:

Sometimes we can laugh at stuff without being offended by it.

That came directly from me.

So, without any further ado – here is my 2018 Met Gala Red Carpet Rant. This year’s theme was Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and The Catholic Imagination. I REALLY struggled to find something to rant about, because everyone looked so amazing. Blake Lively, Zendaya, Kate Bosworth… All so amazing.

Thankfully, some people still brought the LOLs to the yard.

Shailene Woodley


Katy Perry

Katy waving goodbye to her relevance.

Amal Clooney

Sheet Street duvet.

Lili Reinhart

Dis mos nou ‘n lekker stukkie tinfoil vir ‘n oka.

Kendall Jenner

When you spot a pair of pants at a sale and they don’t fit you 100%, but you’re like:

Solange Knowles

Where’s Wikus van der Merwe when you need him?

Emily Ratajkowski

This dress design is lazier than the person who picked the name for First Thursdays.

Doutzen Kroes

Did this person even bother to open the invite to see the theme?

Scarlett Johansson

Okay, so I don’t mind the dress so much. But that hair… Totally ready to update her band’s Myspace profile when she gets home.

If you are a long-time reader, you’ll know that I have never missed an opportunity to drag Madonna. But I want to dedicate a special shout-out to her for absolutely nailing the theme. She looked magnificent in her Jean Paul Gaultier gown, and I LOVED her headdress as well. You go, Madonna!

Images are used purely for commentary and not for commercial purpose.

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