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8 Mar

The curse of being too considerate

I was raised to always consider other people’s feelings. I have always been overly polite, even getting into trouble for throwing “oom” and “tannie” around too much. Jammer, tannie.

Sometimes I decline snacks or drinks at someone else’s house, even when I am hungry enough to eat their cat.

I am always punctual, and when I’m even one second late I beat myself up about it because I have taken 1 second away from someone else’s day.

Hi, I’m Anja, and I suffer from the curse of being too considerate.

Here’s what this means.

1. I fret over my level of politeness all the time

If I accidentally forget to add “Please” or “Thank you” to a sentence, I freak out.

That person totally thinks I’m a dick now.

They think that I am Hitler’s reincarnation.

I am the worst person in the world.

2. I fret over other people’s politeness

Look, we all have that one friend who just does not give a fuck. They will jump queues, ask the waiter to add more symmetrical ice cubes to their Coke and double park in the busiest streets in town.

This makes me want to fetch a megaphone and shout: I AM SO SORRY, WORLD. I WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS, I PROMISE.

3. I have many inner debates

[Standing in a queue and someone jumps the line]

In my head: UGH, WHAT A DICK! Do you think your time is more important than mine? Do you think that I don’t have a long list of things I need to do after this? A life to live? Places to go and people to see? What the hell is wrong with you? It’s people like you that make this planet a shit place. I hope you never procreate and give birth to little inconsiderate replicas of you, you drol.

Other person: “Oh, sorry! Did I cut in front of you?”

Me: “No, it’s okay – don’t worry about it!”

4. When I assert myself, I feel like a douche

Just because I am considerate/polite doesn’t mean that I will allow other people to walk over me. Unfortunately I always feel bad when I’ve mustered the courage to tell someone that they way they treated me made me feel shit about myself.

So basically I feel shit about telling someone else that they made me feel shit.

It’s all very confusing.

5. It’s too easy to take advantage of me

People are the worst. They will use this good quality to their advantage and manipulate you into doing stuff for them that you don’t have any lus for.


But okay, buckle up.

6. I find that I am constantly disappointed in humanity

Literally every day of my life.

Okay, but it’s not all bad.

Even though I see the downside of this, I can also see the goodness it brings into the world. There are far worse personality traits than being willing to help and wanting the best for others.

For more on this, read my post about having a resting nice face.

  • Toni-Leigh

    I’m definitely cursed too. I’ve been trying to not be so super considerate but it’s tough!

    March 9, 2016 at 2:56 pm Reply
  • Uchenna Nwanchor

    Well ur attitude to life is commendable and conforms to biblical standard and in line with the gifts of the holy spirit.

    April 27, 2016 at 7:48 pm Reply
  • Zee

    I have actually spent the better half of my time at work and my employers time and resources reading this blog from recent posts to really old ones. I must say I found this particular feature like I was there finishing sentences with you when it came to these points. I can actually see myself “ndikubhantsa” lack for an English word :-). I am really enjoying your blog…. question! were you born blond?

    September 21, 2016 at 1:51 pm Reply

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