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14 Jan

Dear Cape Town wind

Dear Cape Town wind, Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule of being a pesky drol to read this letter. You were an amazing host to all the holiday-goers and tourists this holiday. When I got back from holiday, I was super amped to discover a windstill Cape Town. I even felt a bit of regret for going away; why did I leave when my own city had such amazing weather? That Seapoint life, hey. A photo posted by Anja Wintour (@anjawintour) on Jan 12, 2016 at 8:35am PST But the tourists had barely packed up their irrational safari klere, and you were back with a vengeance. Me: Yay, so excited to get some sleep tonight. You: LOL Me: *Checks Windguru*...
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5 Oct

Dear Winter

Dear Winter, I see you, you sneaky shit. You pretended to go away, and then waited for everyone to get used to sunny weekends before making an appearance again. Every year you overstay your welcome in Cape Town. You are like the friend who keeps saying "Just one more!" when all I want to do is go home and take my bra off. I am usually okay for the first two months, but after the end of July I find myself staring at the calendar, praying for September to come. And then what do you do? You take your sweet time, you drol. As if that's not enough, you also love trolling us with half-arsed...
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11 Aug

Dear Afrihost

Dear Afrihost, If you've read any of my other open letters, you're probably really nervous right now. But you can calm down, this isn't one of those letters. When I started my blog in 2012, I was with another web-hosting company. This company disappointed me endlessly - my site was forever down, and I was paying way too much for the terrible service I was receiving. In 2013 decided that it was time to migrate to a new company, and someone on Twitter suggested you. So I migrated my website to you, but not without my previous web hosting company stabbing me in the back one last time. I remember standing on our office balcony, trying to get hold of my old company...
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14 May

Open letter to Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears

Dear Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears, Thank you for writing the deepest song I have ever heard. "Pretty Girls" is truly thought-provoking. I have written down some notes on your lyrical masterpiece, which you can view below. Lyrics: "All around the world, pretty girls Wipe the floor with all the boys" My note: I love your subtle jab at Afrikaans people who say things like, "Don't throw me with a pencil!" Lyrics: "Pour the drinks, bring the noise (It's Iggy-Iggs!) We're just so pretty!" My note: Who is this Iggy-Iggs? A philosopher? She be so smart, yo! Lyrics: "All around the world, pretty girls Jump the line, to the front Do what we like, get what we want (Where you at, Brit?) We're just so pretty!" My note: Yes, where is Brit? Because...
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19 Feb

Open letter to Amber Rose

Dear Amber Rose, Before writing this letter to you I had to Google you to find out who you are. Even Wikipedia was like, "Who dis?" when I typed in your name. I found out about your existence at the beginning of the year when you divorced Wiz Khalifa, who btw looks like the Polsmoor version of the Nik Naks man. Soon after that you posted this super tasteful photo of yourself, which was obviously not a cry for attention at all. Then the other day I saw your name on my Twitter timeline again - this time for calling the Kardashians whores. Now, I'll admit that my first...
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