When I was younger I used to get weird, unexplainable rashes on my body. This one time I swam in the sea at Struisbaai with my brother and when we came out I looked like a leper.
I was really upset, not only because it was itchy as fuck, but also because I looked like a leper and not a leopard.
In my first year of college it acted up again, and I got rashes on my chest. It was really annoying, because I LOVE fashion and I used to only be able to wear tops that covered my whole chest area. It was so bad, that the other day when one of my college bffs heard that I’m on Oratane, her response was: “Kry jy dan nogsteeds kak weird rashes as jy net na ‘n muur kyk?”
The answer: NO.
Why? Because a few months ago I started drinking Oratane. What is Oratane? In medical terms it’s medication that works by cutting down on the amount of oily substances made by glands in your skin.
In Anja terms: It’s medication that makes your skin drier than a Bruce Willis movie, but cures acne/rashes and any other skin condition that you might have.
When I started drinking Oratane the dermatologist gave me a little booklet to explain all the side effects, which reminded me of a Sex Education book that Juno got at Planned Parenthood or something.
Anyways, it explained that your skin will become very dry and that your eyes might be a little red.
That’s true, but let me explain the degree of dryness that you will experience.
When you wake up in the mornings, your lips will be as dry as a Savanna ad.
Your nose will peel and even if it’s the middle of winter, it’ll look like you’d just gone on a summer holiday without any SPF.
Sometimes your skin would be really moist (ugh, that word!), and you’d think that the worst is over. And then BOOM! You’re a lizard again.
As far as red eyes go, have you ever watched Vampire Diaries? No? Well, when the vampires are really hungry their eyes are all bloodshot and they look like shit.
That’s what you look like ALL THE TIME when you’re on Oratane.
Every day you look like you watched the scene in Lion King when Mufasa dies.
My eyes are so dry that I need to wear sunglasses everywhere I go, and even though I want to shinkick people who wear sunglasses indoors, I’m sometimes tempted to do it too.
People at work are always freaked out when I go out for
lunch and come back looking like I’d crazy cried.
These are a few of the side-effects of using Oratane, but there are some cool shit too.
For instance, your hair stays clean FOREVER. I swear. Before I started drinking Oratane I washed my hair every second day, and now I wash it every SEVENTH day. And then it still looks as shiny as a Disney princess’ hair.
You will also see significant results. My skin is completely rash free, and I’ve only been drinking the pills for 2 months. (I have to drink it until November.)
If you have any skin issues, go to your dermatologist and ask him what your options are. If he suggests Oratane, think it through carefully. As you now know, it has a lot of side-effects, but they’re worth the trouble.
At the end of this year my skin will be crystal clear and I’ll look like I’d just been retouched by Vogue’s angels.
But for now I’m spooning with Lip Ice and eyedrops.