Dear Avril Lavigne,
Firstly, may I kindly request that you wipe that drunk panda eyeliner off your face so that you can read my letter properly?
Let’s move on.
Oh, dearest Avril Lavigne. What happened to the girl who never wore a cover-up, always beat the boys up and grew up in a five thousand population town? You made money by cuttin’ grass, got fired by fried chicken ass. All in a small town, Napanee.
We all seriously miss her. She was a total badass who didn’t give a shit about wearing dresses and fitting in. Her songs had depth to it and sometimes even moral lessons.
I have a theory that everything went wrong the day you dyed your hair blonde. Is it possible that the chemicals bleached your creativity too?
Judging by your recent music videos, I’d say yes.
Napanee isn’t small enough for you to be racist.
“Oh look my new Sony phone is ringing.” Is it your integrity calling to find out where you are?
Literally the most generic bullshit song in the world.
HOLY SHIT A SINGING POODLE!
Should I lay the blame in front of Derek Whibley’s door? Lord knows he looks worse than you these days.
Or is it Chad Kroeger’s fault? Did his kakness rub off on you?
Whatever the reason is, it’s not too late to save your career. You can start by burning your eyeliner and
We miss you so much, young Avril! You taught us how to straighten our hair and wear Converse. I mean, you even created the ULTIMATE sad white girl song.
Please cut the crap and come back to us!
It’s not that Complicated, you’re not Losing You’re Grip because you’re Nobody’s Fool.
13-year-old Anja and 23-year-old Anja