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I've never met an old Lauren.

About 13 hours ago from Anja van der Spuy's Twitter

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3 Apr

My life as an introvert

I get so annoyed when people think that introverts are boring, or quiet. When people find out I’m an introvert they’re often surprised, because I’m very talkative. Introverts can be talkative and often even the life of the party, but their social healthbar gets drained much quicker than an extrovert’s.

The biggest difference between introverts and extroverts, is that introverts get their energy from being alone, whereas extroverts get it from being with other people. I get tired of other people very quickly, and then I have to be alone. That’s why music festivals like Rocking The Diasies and Ramfest are my kryptonite. When I don’t want to be somewhere anymore I want to be able to go home.

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But up until that point I am usually the life of the party – the person who talks the loudest and does the weirdest dance moves. That’s why people are surprised when I want to go home at 12. Because, “You’re having so much fun!”

Ja, I was having fun but now my social health bar is depleted and I need to recharge it. Bye

Another big difference between introverts and extroverts is that when an introvert has had a busy week, they stay at home and read over the weekend or spend time with their very nearest and dearest.

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When an extrovert’s had a busy week, their way of unwinding is to go to as many social events as possible. Extroverts are often freaked out by introverts, and find it unsettling that they can be alone for so long.

I did the Briggs Meyers test a while ago to figure out exactly what personality type I am. The test is often used during job interviews to determine if the person will fit the environment. The test is quite long, but so totally worth it. It has confirmed so many things and also taught me a lot about myself.

My personality type is INFJ.

I = Introvert
N = Intuition
F = Feeling
J = Judging

Here’s a short summary of an INFJ:

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world.

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People with my personality type have NO patience with laziness or any form of slacking. If you don’t do your job, or if you’re always late there’s a 99.99% that we will impale you with a BIC pen.

We’re also super hard on ourselves and get very bleak when we can’t do our best/haven’t done out best. Conflict is our weakness and something we avoid at all costs. Especially in a work context. All we want is to do our jobs and for everyone to do their jobs.

I studied advertising because I’m creative, but when I entered the industry I soon found out that I needed more structure. I’m now working at a company that allows me to be creative in a structured setting.

I am also a dreamer, and that’s why I love being alone. It gives me time to daydream. Add a book or some music to the mix and I’m in heaven.

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I’m also a big family person – I’d sooner spend time with my family than with a group of strangers. My family means the world to me. I don’t like going to events just for the sake of “networking”. I hate kissing butt and schmoozing – I’d rather use that time to read or hang out with people who actually care about me. Look, don’t get me wrong – I do go out a lot, I’m no hermit. I’m just an introvert.

I suggest that all of you do the Briggs Meyers test. It’ll explain so much about the way you think or react to certain situations, and help you to choose a job that fits your personality type.

If you’re an extrovert, I want to tell you that it’s okay to enjoy the shit out of being with other people and socialising your heart out. I truly admire your ability to jump from party to party to party. But I also want to tell you that it’s okay to be alone sometimes.

And I want to ask you to try and understand your introverted friends or colleagues, and go easy on them.

If you’re an introvert – do you see now that you’re not alone? So many people are introverts, they just don’t know it! They assume that introverts are super quiet, and sometimes even pushovers. But that’s not the truth – you can be a fierce, independent, opinionated person and still be an introvert. AND BE AWESOME.

And I also want to tell you that it’s okay to not be alone sometimes. Make time for your friends!

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9 Comments
  • Kerry

    Thanks for introducing me to this test – I learnt so much about myself that was there all along but that just needed confirmation. And guess what, I have literally chosen what my personality type – INFP is good for, writing 🙂

    April 3, 2014 at 8:51 am Reply
  • femmegypsy

    Thank you Anja! I loved this and I think it is so very important for people to understand that people are different and that is ok. We all thrive and re-energise in different situations and this is so important to understand. I am an IFNP and the description is 100% accurate.

    April 3, 2014 at 10:24 am Reply
  • Odette

    I’m an INFP as well.
    Sometimes I want to punch people who won’t shut up and leave me alone when I want quietness.

    April 3, 2014 at 11:55 am Reply
  • Telma

    Lovely post Anja! Very informative! Going to give the test a try lol

    April 4, 2014 at 10:35 am Reply
  • Gugu_A1

    This test is on point, I’ve always loved being an introvert and people also don’t get why because ‘you’re so opinionated’, as if introverts have nothing to say.

    April 8, 2014 at 9:35 am Reply
  • Grethe

    INFJs unite! 😀

    May 6, 2014 at 6:16 am Reply
  • Decadent Addict

    On behalf of introverts we thank you! I’m an INTP.

    May 20, 2014 at 7:47 pm Reply
  • Laura

    bahahah I get that a lot too, “but… but… you talk A LOT!”
    Lately, some have said “I never hear you talk,” while those who I am close to would die laughing if they hear someone say that to me.

    October 23, 2014 at 4:00 am Reply
  • Megan

    Okay, so my man is ‘n introvert en ek ‘n ekstrovert – dit hou lewe baie interessant. Maar wat ek eintlik wou se is dat ek heeltemal verstaan hoe talkative introverts kan wees. Ek moet partykeer vir my man vra om net bietjie te shut up, sodat ek kan dink en ‘n repsonse kan gee. En ek love dat hy so baie met my kan praat.

    May 11, 2015 at 11:33 am Reply

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