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"Wow, I used to be so basic." - Me looking at photos of myself from yesterday

About 13 hours ago from Anja van der Spuy's Twitter

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13 Mar

How To Be A Lekker Person

I know my posts are usually a bit more Buzzfeed than Elite Daily, but I’ve been thinking about this post for ages and I really wanted to set it free.

I’m working on some of these things myself; particularly the “be grateful” part. I think it’s too easy to focus on the things that are kak in your life, and to lose sight of all the positive parts.

I hope this post inspires you in some small way.


Compliment more


I don’t think we compliment each other nearly enough. And we seem to think that we should always go big with our compliments. You have no idea what a simple compliment can do for someone’s self-esteem, or how much it can brighten up their day. So compliment more freely. If you like it, say it!

And this doesn’t only apply to other people. Complimenting yourself frequently will make your perception of yourself more positive, and boost your confidence. As much as a cliché as it is, there is a lot of truth to the time-old wisdom of only being able to love others when you love yourself.


Greet people


I am really shy, and it takes a lot of guts for me to go up to people to greet them. But here’s the thing: I’ve been ignored in shopping centres enough to know that it feels pretty shitty when someone you know walks right past you. So go say hello, even if you know it’s going to be awkward.

And if you’ve forgotten their name – just leave your sentences hanging and pray that you don’t have to introduce them to anyone.


Say “please” and “thank you”


Really, I shouldn’t even have to add this to the list.


Don’t be kak to service people


Speaking down to waiters and car guards (or anyone for that matter) is absolutely despicable, and there’s NOTHING cool about it. If you think you’re better than other people, I have some news for you today: jou poef stink net soveel soos ander mense s’n. Bye.

Be grateful


And not just for the big things, like having a nice home or owning a car.

Be grateful to be able to read, to walk, to see, to have friends and family, a bed to sleep in and food in your belly. Life is hard, and I don’t want to generalise because I know there are people out there with problems I can’t even begin to comprehend. But I think most of us can find at least one thing to be grateful about.


Have a little compassion


We look away too often. I know it’s difficult to see someone else’s pain, but it’s important to fight becoming desensitised.

A while ago I went to my an appointment with a psychiatrist, and for some reason I was absolutely fine while I was talking to her. But afterwards when I got into the Uber, I suddenly felt deeply sad. I sat staring at my lap for about 5 minutes, when my driver looked in his rearview mirror and said: “Ma’am, are you okay?”

I am not a public crier. Partially because I always have my poised Louwna Edwards facade up, but also because I once saw myself crying in a mirror and it pretty much looked like this:

But that day I started crying.

He asked me why I was sad, and for some strange reason – I didn’t feel like telling him a lie. He turned around, looked at me and said: “I feel for you, as a fellow human.”

Just before I got out of the car, he asked me if he could pray for me. And you know what? I said yes. Because I really needed another person’s kindness that day.

That guy has probably forgotten all about this encounter, but I will never forget him.


Stop being tardy


Truth bomb time: There’s no such thing as ‘fashionably late’.

You’re late. That’s it.

Make an effort to be on time for events, meetings, coffee dates – anything where you’re responsible for someone else’s time.


When you make a mistake, own up to it


Instead of making a million excuses, rather admit, apologise and move on. Admitting fault doesn’t make you weak – it shows integrity and strength.


Think twice about bailing on plans


Look, I’m the queen of committing to plans and then feeling like staying at home in my pyjamas. But I always try my best to avoid cancelling plans, because I know what it feels like to set time aside to see someone and then getting a “Sorry, can’t make it anymore” message.


Be happy for other people


It is the most liberating thing in the world to feel happy for other people. I promise that it feels a hell of a lot better than jealousy.

Stop being a moany pony on social media


Here’s what social networks look like everyday: MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN MOAN




If you can’t stop moaning, can you at least space out your moany posts and throw in a few memes?

Thank you. Now here’s a funny meme for you.

This article is an expansion of my 2014 post on how to get people to like you.

  • Steven

    Recently read a post about someone complaining they had to teach their parents how to use an iphone. The parents replied that they had to teach them how to use a spoon. Be grateful to them as well as those around you and be humble. This article reminded me of that. Great article all round.

    March 13, 2017 at 8:46 am Reply
  • Megan Hartwig

    Awesome post…loved reading it.

    March 13, 2017 at 9:45 am Reply
  • LiezelTee

    Love it x

    March 13, 2017 at 12:39 pm Reply
  • Marguerite

    i’ve had so many near cries in an an uber and so many times the driver will say just the right thing and make me smile 🙂
    i’m not usually in the habit of chatting to the uber driver but more often than not, it’s totally worth it.

    March 13, 2017 at 1:30 pm Reply
  • Charlene Bhana

    I love this! Thank you Anja! ❤️

    March 13, 2017 at 6:52 pm Reply
  • Hanli van der Spuy

    Yes, Anja, love dat jy ‘n goeie humor sin het, maar nog meer dat jy die seriousness ook kan aandraai. Dis cool. En dankie vir ‘n awesome en eerlike post!

    March 14, 2017 at 7:08 am Reply
  • MomOfTwoLittleGirls

    Great post. Loved it. It’s takes so little to be kids and respectful to other people.

    March 25, 2017 at 10:27 am Reply

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