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"Babe, I feel so embarrassed because I just remembered that I used to beg for money in the tuckshop queue."

About 58 minutes ago from Anja van der Spuy's Twitter

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28 Jul

Everyone On Social Media

It’s weird to think that I’ve been on Facebook since 2007. When I first joined Facebook, I was only allowed to check on it once a day because we had a 2GB capped line. That 2GB used to run out so quickly, which used to send my dad into a blind rage.

Fast forward 10 years and nothing has really changed. I’m still running out of 2GB, only this time it’s on my phone because data in South Africa is one of the biggest lies of our time and every service provider is part of the conspiracy.

Years of being on social media – not only Facebook – have shown me that we’re all pretty much the same human online.

Here are some of my observations.

Clichéd captions

A photo of someone you love, titled: “So much love for this one.”

Opposite day

A photo of a beautiful view, with a really clever title: “Ugh, what a shit view.”

You’re a genius, Carol.


For those of you who don’t know what a sub-tweet is, it’s supposed to be a subtle/subliminal tweet about something or someone you find annoying.

It’s always kak obvious.

Pretending you never sub-tweet

This is possibly my favourite thing to witness on Twitter. When someone sends out a spicy sub-tweet and follows it up with a “This tweet wasn’t aimed at anyone” disclaimer.

Oh? Really? Did that very specific thought just come to you by coincidence and had nothing to do with the very obvious source of it?

The subtle brag

“Hmm. Love my first cup of the day.”

“She caught me off guard lol”

The Vague Facebook Status

“I’ve had such a shit day…”

Does it have anything to do with the fact that you seem to lack the ability to elaborate on anything?

Only I look good on this photo

Everyone else on this photo looks like actual death, but I look nice so IT’S ON INSTAGRAM NOW BITCHES.

The passive aggressive like

This one is just so amazingly effective and works on so many levels. For instance, you can like someone’s sub-tweet about you and they can’t do shit about it. Or if you want to become a permanent resident of Petty Island, you can like that photo of your ex and their new partner.

A ride on the bandwagon


*Sends tweet*

The ol’ screenshot

This conversation I am having with my friend on WhatsApp is hilarious. Let me post it on social media for everyone to laugh with us.

Oh wait, it lacks context and no one else find it funny.

Song Lyrics as a selfie caption

Yasss this selfie is ON FIRE. But, how will I post it without looking vain?

“Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful.” – Lana Del Rey

Phew, good save.

Anja Wintour

Hello! Thanks for checking my blog out - I like you already! If you want to suggest a topic, please drop me a mail on Email address is PR-friendly too! Love, Anja

1 Comment
  • jade abbott


    August 7, 2017 at 1:52 pm Reply

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