I love it when guys tell me that they read my blog. Especially if they’re shy about it. I realise that my blog is predominantly girl orientated, so I decided to do a post for the guys.
Girl fashion is so much more exciting than guy fashion – don’t even argue with me about this. Summer fashion for guys is about as exciting as a dry provita. Shorts, plakkies and t-shirts? Groundbreaking.
But winter fashion makes up for it, because beanies and beards.
Okay sorry, let me get back to my story. Guys, you have a lot more to work with in winter. I know that you probably don’t care, and would rather spend money on beer, burgers and Battlefield.
But here’s a guide to looking like a delicious sexy beast this winter.
1. Grow a beard
Okay let’s start with the simplest way to be a pantydropper: Grow a bitching beard.
Guys. Beards are majestic. They have superpowers that you can’t even begin to comprehend.
But make sure that your beard has a balance between boy band and bergie.
Nobody wants to make out with Tom Hanks circa Castaway.
2. Buy a lumberjack shirt
You can get these shirts for super cheap anywhere. They go with everything and will make you look like you throat punch bears on a daily basis.
3. Leather up
Get yourself a (p)leather jacket, and you will get yourself a one way ticket to BABEVILLE.
You can cloak anything with a leather jacket: moobs, bad decisions, issues. Anything!
4. Buy a beanie
I’m still convinced that Professor Quirell would’ve gotten away with housing The Dark Lord on the back of his head, had he worn a beanie instead of a dumbass turban.
Beanies are one of the best things to ever happen to this world – right after chocolate cereal and The Internet.
Guys, seriously – you don’t understand the power of a well worn beanie. “Well worn” being the key. Stay away from those pointy beanies that look like you’re hiding a Jehovah’s Witness on your head.
Another no-no is dirty hair under your beanie. Don’t think that just because you’re covering your hair you are allowed to skip washes. Just remember: Professor Snape died alone.
5. Put a sock in it
My favourite thing in the world is looking at men’s socks.
Seriously. I stare at men’s socks on the train all the time. It amuses me that so many men just YOLO when it comes to socks. Like, they’d be wearing this really formal suit with Simpsons socks.
I know it may seem like something small, but wearing rad socks could change your whole look.
6. If the shoe fits – buy it in 2 colours
Look, I get it. Most guys are about 2 sizes away from being Godzilla. You can’t help that you have monstrous feet – it’s a curse.
But that doesn’t excuse you from gross shoes. If you find a pair that fits you – buy them in every colour.
All Stars are a safe bet – you’ll always find a size in them, and they’re extremely versatile and timeless.
Man boots are also sexy.
But make sure you wear them in such a way that you look trendy, instead of a Texas Chainsaw murderer.