Dear Cape Town wind,
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule of being a pesky drol to read this letter.
You were an amazing host to all the holiday-goers and tourists this holiday. When I got back from holiday, I was super amped to discover a windstill Cape Town. I even felt a bit of regret for going away; why did I leave when my own city had such amazing weather?
But the tourists had barely packed up their irrational safari klere, and you were back with a vengeance.
Me: Yay, so excited to get some sleep tonight.
Me: *Checks Windguru* Aaah yeah! I bought this dress 3 weeks ago, today is the day I can finally wear it.
You: Better not wear those ouma panties today ifyouknowwhatImean
Me: Super amped to go to the beach today!
You: ME TOO!
Me: These pot plants would look lovely on my balco –
You: You were saying?
Me: Maybe I can walk 2 metres to my car.
Joburg calls us Slaapstad because we’re apparently way too relaxed. But we’re actually just sleepy because we never get enough fucking rest, thanks to the South Easter.
So what I’m trying to say is that we need a bit of a break. Please can you give us a bit of space?
P.S. It’s not me, it’s you.