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I've never met an old Lauren.

About 13 hours ago from Anja van der Spuy's Twitter

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21 Feb

Red carpet rant: The 2014 BRIT/SHIT Awards

I love the British - they're responsible for some of the best comedians of our time, and they've delivered AMAZING shows like Misfits, Skins and Black Mirror. But the BRIT Awards is always a cacophony of kak. Let us not forget these ghosts of unglamorous past. This year didn't deliver anything quite as hideous as the above, but there was an air of desperation to everyone's outfits. Everyone just tried too damn hard to make a statement. As you can see, not many succeeded. Rita Ora Omg, Icarus! You're alive! But seriously guys, why did Rita Ora ever become a thing when she's just a homeschooled jungle freak who's a less hot version of Rihanna? Jessie J Holy shit, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named managed to recruit the Inferi again! Jessi J lyk...
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20 Jan

2014 SAG Awards Red Carpet Rant

The 2014 SAG Awards delivered only a few uglies - it's getting harder and harder for me to do these red carpet rants because the stars are really pulling all stops to look fabulous this year. Damn you, stylish celebs! Anyways, Julia Roberts' dress made me LOL the hardest. But kudos to her for not having anything saggy at the SAG Awards. Abigail Breslin Ursula called. She wants her dress back. Kerry Washington Here's a list of things you shouldn't do while you're pregnant: drink, smoke, WEAR A. CROP TOP. Ag nee man! Julie Bowen No Oliver, you may not have some more. Edie Falco I hope like butterflies, this dress will die after 2 days. Ariel Winter Yoh! Stille waters, diepe grond! Of stille waters diepe cleavage. Julia Roberts  ...
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13 Jan

Golden Globes Red Carpet Rant

All the stars looked so amazing at the 2014 Golden Globes that it was almost impossible to find worst dressed stars. But luckily Julia Roberts decided to wear one of Mother Theresa's hand-me-downs, and Amber Heard raided an evil villain's wardrobe. So, without further ado, here's my 2014 Golden Globes red carpet rant. Julia Roberts She looks like she's on her way to an audition for Amish in The City. I don't understand that white blouse thing - without it this outfit would make more sense. In fact, it would actually look a lot like Princess Anastasia's dress. Amber Heard Okay who gave Maleficent an invite to the Golden Globes? Olivia Wilde Have you ever seen a documentary on how snakes feed? Paula Patton Holy shit, there's an...
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11 Nov

EMA 2013 red carpet rant

You guys know how much I love a lekker red carpet rant, and it's always such a disappointment when the celebrities don't wear their crème dela kak outfits. Sadly, the 2013 EMAs didn't deliver the most hideous outfits. But not to worry, I still found a few outfits to bitch about. Katy Perry She looked absolutely amazing on the red carpet. I loved her 50s hairstyle and figure hugging dress. But then during her performance she turned back into her mutant-form, Mystique. And apparently she recently got her Hogwarts acceptance letter. Jay Sean and Swizz Beats Well, this is the most awkward photo ever. "They're taking photos of me. WHAT MUST I DO? MY ARMS FEEL SO AWKWARD." Here's an idea: don't show the peace sign. Ariana Grande Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
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20 May

Red carpet rant: The 2013 Billboard Awards

Alyssa Milano Oh honey, I wish you really had magical powers so that you could make this outfit disappear. Madonna COVER YOUR COOKAH! Z-LaLa Zoltang. Taylor Swift Where's the icerink? Avril Lavigne  Somebody should buy Avril Lavigne a calender so that she see that it's 2013, not 2004. "Nice wig, Janis! What's it made of?" "Your mom's chesthair!" Jenny McCarthy This is what trying too hard looks like. David Guetta and his wife Please excuse me while I throw up. I have no idea who this person is, but she looks like kak and she's making the dog look bad. Ke$sha COVER YOUR COOKAH!...
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