Dear Period Anja,
I know it's hard to focus on anything except chocolate right now, but thank you for trying.
I just wanted to reach out to find out how you're doing? I know you used that Period Calculator app to find out when your next period will be, and that it let you down again.
When will you learn to always have tampons on you? Yes, yes. I'm aware your handbag is always full. But is it really necessary to carry 10 lipsticks, a nail file, an extra pair of shoes, perfume, plasters, half eaten wine gums, 3 pairs of sunglasses, a banana, your hopes and dreams, a dog and 300 issues in your bag?
Okay, put that sharp object down. I'm only...
Dear Kim Kardashian,
I know that most people opened this letter thinking I would bash you for the nude pic you tweeted on Monday. But that is actually not why I am here.
You see, when you sent out that tweet on Monday, my first thought was: Wow. Look at that amazing curvy body.
When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL pic.twitter.com/UlSLZb1fp1
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 7, 2016
Like all girls, I get days where I am just not happy with my body. Some mornings I wake up and look in the mirror and just think: Ugh.
I am perfectly healthy, so I absolutely hate that I have days like these - it’s not right. But when I...
Dear Cape Town wind,
Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule of being a pesky drol to read this letter.
You were an amazing host to all the holiday-goers and tourists this holiday. When I got back from holiday, I was super amped to discover a windstill Cape Town. I even felt a bit of regret for going away; why did I leave when my own city had such amazing weather?
That Seapoint life, hey.
A photo posted by Anja Wintour (@anjawintour) on Jan 12, 2016 at 8:35am PST
But the tourists had barely packed up their irrational safari klere, and you were back with a vengeance.
Me: Yay, so excited to get some sleep tonight.
Me: *Checks Windguru*...
I see you, you sneaky shit. You pretended to go away, and then waited for everyone to get used to sunny weekends before making an appearance again.
Every year you overstay your welcome in Cape Town. You are like the friend who keeps saying "Just one more!" when all I want to do is go home and take my bra off.
I am usually okay for the first two months, but after the end of July I find myself staring at the calendar, praying for September to come. And then what do you do? You take your sweet time, you drol. As if that's not enough, you also love trolling us with half-arsed...
If you've read any of my other open letters, you're probably really nervous right now. But you can calm down, this isn't one of those letters.
When I started my blog in 2012, I was with another web-hosting company. This company disappointed me endlessly - my site was forever down, and I was paying way too much for the terrible service I was receiving. In 2013 decided that it was time to migrate to a new company, and someone on Twitter suggested you.
So I migrated my website to you, but not without my previous web hosting company stabbing me in the back one last time. I remember standing on our office balcony, trying to get hold of my old company...