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No one: Cape Town wind: I can put my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?

About 16 minutes ago from Anja van der Spuy's Twitter

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2 Aug

8 Things only people with jobs will understand

Listen here, I am so tired of apologising for not being able to attend events or for not replying to WhatsApps.

I have this little thing called a JOB, which kinda takes up 90% of my day, so it’s not that I’m being rude. I’m just busy.

I find myself commiserating with other 8 to 5ers all the time. Often when we get together we just bitch about the following things:

1. Your WhatsApp is important to us

They should call it WhatSAP, because it saps all of the energy out of me.

I really want to reply to your WhatsApp, I do. But when I’m in the middle of a meeting or stressing my arse off about a big project, answering your “What are we doing this weekend?” WhatsApp isn’t on the top of my list.

If you think this makes me an asshole, you probably don’t have a job yet.

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2. My lunch hour is MINE

Look, if you waste even 2 seconds of my lunch hour I’ll NEVER FORGIVE YOU.

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Haha, jk. Not never.

Just like, not in the next 10 years.

My lunch is MINE. I wake up at 5 in the morning to go to work, and I only get home at 18:30. All I have is that little hour in the middle of the day.

SO DON’T WASTE MY HOUR OF FREEDOM

3. Students

If you’re a student and you complain to me about not having time, I can’t guarantee that I won’t key your car out of anger.

Sit down. I need to educate you.

Yes, exams are stressful. Yes, I realise that you are under a lot of pressure to pass your tests. Nobody is saying that your studies are easy.

But don’t fugging come here and say that you don’t have time. You will never in your life have more time than during your studies.

I used to get really pissed off when people told me this as a student. I used to think to myself: “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Turns out that they were right.

And while we’re on this topic: Nobody with a job wants to know about your holiday. Talking about your 4-week break to someone who only gets 1.25 leave days per month is like eating cake in front of an orphan.

Don’t.

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4. Tell us when events start AND end

When I was at school/college, I never cared about what time an event ends. I only cared about the time that it starts.

Now it’s more important for me to know when the event will be over, because:

  1. I need to plan my life
  2. I need to know if I’ll be tired at work the next day
  3. I need to know how much money I’ll need for parking
  4. Most importantly: I need to know how long I’ll have to wear tight clothes until I can wear my pyjamas.

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5. Life’s a competition

This was totally a thing in high school and varsity too, but when you start working it gets kicked up a notch.

It’s always a constant competition about who has the busiest life and schedule.

Oh you have to work tonight?
SO WHAT. I have to work AND MAKE SUPPER AND DO WASHING AND OTHER HOME STUFF.

Oh you’re studying part-time?

SO WHAT. I HAVE TWO KIDS AND A HUSBAND WHO NEEDS ATTENTION ALL THE TIME.

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I can give you a million examples, but the point is: When you have a job you feel the need to talk about how busy you are.

Hence this blog.

6. Friday nights are jammie nights

No, we’re not saying that we won’t go out over weekends. We’re just saying that sometimes (90% of the time) we’re not lus for any obligations on Friday nights. It’s been a long, tough week. We just want to catch up on our favourite series in our ugliest, comfiest jammies.

Who knows, we might even watch a few cat videos while stuffing our faces with pizza.

Please just let us be. We can party on Saturday.

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7. Let us go home when we want to

When we want to go home, WE WANT TO GO HOME. Don’t even waste your time telling us how old and boring we are now that we have jobs.

We can’t hear you over all the money we’re making.

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8.  We really, really love you

Despite all of the above, we really love you. We just can’t WhatsApp it to you during work hours.

I-love-you.

 

5 Comments
  • El

    Spot on once again! Haha — you did forget to mention that these are also the reason why I don’t respond to messages at nights or on weekends. Let’s just say I have enough of electronics during the day, please spare me a thought when I love my little get aways away from the phone. Thanks for always giving me a good (much needed) giggle xx

    August 6, 2014 at 9:52 am Reply
  • Yumna

    Too funny but yet spot on!! Your posts always makes me giggle at my screen… Boss thinking if I am insane lol…
    See you soon! xxx
    http://cookedculture.co.za/

    August 6, 2014 at 9:59 am Reply
  • Candice

    First of all, great blog. Just recently became a fan, and second… Thank you for highlighting this, some people will NEVER understand. When I get home from work (and the lunch hour), I just want to chill! I feel like screaming whenever friends say “We never see you” or “you’re so boring”. I DON’T have time to always respond to your WhatSAP or foreward chain messages or play candy crush etc you know the drill. Thanks again

    August 6, 2014 at 11:34 am Reply
  • Talya

    LOL this is 100% the reason i deleted Whatsapp, you should try it! now only my real friends contact me and i never feel guilty cos people cant’ see when i’m online/have looked at their message and am blatantly ignoring them ha

    August 6, 2014 at 1:19 pm Reply
    • Gugu_A1

      I also wanna delete whatsapp, just need the guts now.

      August 16, 2014 at 10:20 pm Reply

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