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11 Jan

5 Reasons why I am a leopard

By now you all probably know that I am obsessed with leopard print. If you didn’t know this about me, here’s a photo I took of all my leopard print clothes last year. (I now have even more.)

I have a theory that my leopard print obsession is actually turning me into a leopard. I created this list to show you why.

Reasons why I am possibly a leopard:

1.)    I don’t like being touched

Let me tell you one really important thing about me: I do not like being touched. I am convinced that something went wrong with my female settings, because I am really the most unaffectionate girl in the world.

If you are not part of my family or friendship group, DON’T touch me. More importantly; DON’T touch my face, because I will bite/scratch/maul you.

2.)    I love meat

During my first month at TPP, someone told me that the sandwich place next door is really amazing. I went there one afternoon just to discover that it’s a vegetarian place.

This is what my face looked like when I saw the menu:

So I walked really far in the baking Cape Town heat just to get a salami sandwich.

It was worth it.

3.)    I don’t like it when people watch me eat

Don’t come near my desk when I’m eating my lunch. I will get really territorial and mean. Also, don’t expect me to share my food with you.

I’ll share my love, and I’ll share my clothes, but I DO NOT SHARE MY FOOD.

4.)    I love naps

There are few things that I enjoy quite as much as a nap. My favourite type of nap is a procrastination nap: when you have about a billion things to do and you decide to rather do nothing and just take a nap.

5.)    I prefer the company of animals

You know how in the Hobbit there’s that wizard who lives in the forest with all the animals? That’s me.

This guy is my hero.

I love spending time with my dog, and we really understand each other.  The only time we ever fight is when he blows his foul breath (it smells EXACTLY like dead seal) in my face while I’m eating, or when he poops in my room.

I’d much
rather deal with his kak than any human’s.

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