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2 May

2017 Met Gala Red Carpet Rant

The 69th annual Met Ball was themed Rei Kawakubo/Commes des Garçons.

Here’s how I pronounced the latter the first time I read it: KOMMES DES GARKONS.

Here’s how you actually pronounce it:

Cool, so now that we’ve established that I can never go to France, let’s move on to the fashion of the night.

Madonna

Haai siestog, Madonna probably read “camouflage” instead of “comme de garcons”. My gran’s eyes also started deteriorating when she turned 80.

Image via the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/ 

Solange Knowles

Actual footage of me camping.

Image via E! Online

Chrissy Teigen

Image via Pop Sugar: www.popsugar.com

Gwyneth Paltrow

This dress makes Gwyneth look almost as short as her career.

Image via the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/

Elizabeth Banks

2001 Gwen Stefani.

Image via E! Online

Katie Holmes

Did Katie Holmes escape Scientologists by boring them all to death?

Image via the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/

Nadia Vodianova

Image via the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/

Anna Wintour

AliExpress.com

Celine Dion

More like Celine Dio-yawn, amiright?

(It’s been a long day)

Image courtesy of The Daily Mail: http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Hailee Steinfeld

Legs or viennas?

Image courtesy of E! Online

Claire Danes

Pirates Of The Caribbean 6.

Evan Rachel Wood

When you apply winged eyeliner and it starts going South, so you apply more, and more and more until you eventually just give the fuck up.

Helen Lasichanh

Tiger Wheel and Tyre mascot.

Image courtesy of E! Online

Anja Wintour

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5 Comments
  • Julie

    Thank you, just thank you.. this made my unemployed day so much better 😀

    *goes back to pretending to look for jobs*

    May 2, 2017 at 6:20 pm Reply
  • Theresa Jansen Van Rensburg

    Your red carpet rants never disappoint! I especially love the Gwyneth comment! It looks like she had her Oscar dress altered.

    May 3, 2017 at 5:52 am Reply
  • Theresa Jansen Van Rensburg

    Your red carpet rant never disappoints. I especially love the Gwyneth comment, it also looks like she just had her oscar dress altered.

    May 3, 2017 at 5:54 am Reply
  • jade abbott

    wtf are these people thinking?? i would’ve just stayed at home, seriously!

    May 3, 2017 at 6:09 am Reply
  • Vivienne

    This was hilarious! Thank you!

    May 3, 2017 at 10:23 am Reply

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