Most of my life is spent trying to be nice and polite. But then there are days like today where I can feel my douche side begging to come out. As a result I have decided to detonate 10 truth bombs that I’ve been holding in my mind for a while now.
Here you go.
1. All of Ellie Goulding’s songs sound exactly the same
My favourite Ellie Goulding song is the one that sounds like all the other ones.
2. LinkedIn is stupid
If you use Twitter the right way it will be more instrumental to your career than LinkedIn will ever be.
Also, while I’m here – let me just reiterate that LinkedIn is literally the last place I ever want to be chatted up. You’ll have better luck sending a sexy message to my grave.
3. No man over the age of 18 should wear Axe
4. Cats have weird buttholes
Everyone knows this, but I still wanted to add it to the list.
5. Trifle is disgusting
I’ll just leave this here.
6. Secret Santa is just a terrible idea
Hey, here’s a good idea. How about you give an ‘anonymous’ gift to the value of R50 to a complete stranger? Come on now, you can buy so many awesome gifts with R50!
7. Fast and The Furious is literally the worst movie ever
Fast and The Furious 1
Fast and The Furious 2
Fast and The Furious 3
Fast and The Furious 4
Fast and The Furious 5
All equally kak.
8. Facebook is dead
Facebook has been dead to individuals for ages. It’s all about businesses and boosting ads. Will your family photo add another gold toilet to the bathrooms at Facebook HQ? No? Then Facebook doesn’t care about you. Bye.
9. All white babies look alike
What? It’s true.
10. “Adult” isn’t a verb
“Adulting is hard”
“I had a difficult time adulting today”
Maybe your life wouldn’t be so difficult if you’ve actually read a book in your life.