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10 Dec

10 Truth Bombs

Most of my life is spent trying to be nice and polite. But then there are days like today where I can feel my douche side begging to come out. As a result I have decided to detonate 10 truth bombs that I’ve been holding in my mind for a while now.

Here you go.

1. All of Ellie Goulding’s songs sound exactly the same

My favourite Ellie Goulding song is the one that sounds like all the other ones.

Bye.

www.dolly.com.au

www.dolly.com.au

2. LinkedIn is stupid

If you use Twitter the right way it will be more instrumental to your career than LinkedIn will ever be.

Also, while I’m here – let me just reiterate that LinkedIn is literally the last place I ever want to be chatted up. You’ll have better luck sending a sexy message to my grave.

Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 11.30.13 AM

3. No man over the age of 18 should wear Axe

honestmarijuana.com

honestmarijuana.com

4. Cats have weird buttholes

Everyone knows this, but I still wanted to add it to the list.

www.dailymail.co.uk

www.dailymail.co.uk

5. Trifle is disgusting

I’ll just leave this here.

Trifle

6. Secret Santa is just a terrible idea

Hey, here’s a good idea. How about you give an ‘anonymous’ gift to the value of R50 to a complete stranger? Come on now, you can buy so many awesome gifts with R50!

the-big-gulp.tumblr.com

the-big-gulp.tumblr.com

7. Fast and The Furious is literally the worst movie ever

Fast and The Furious 1

Fast and The Furious 2

Fast and The Furious 3

Fast and The Furious 4

Fast and The Furious 5

All equally kak.

popcultureperversion.com

popcultureperversion.com

8. Facebook is dead

Facebook has been dead to individuals for ages. It’s all about businesses and boosting ads. Will your family photo add another gold toilet to the bathrooms at Facebook HQ? No? Then Facebook doesn’t care about you. Bye.

facebook ads-thumb-380xauto-3190

9. All white babies look alike

What? It’s true.

giphy.com

giphy.com

10. “Adult” isn’t a verb

“Adulting is hard”

“I had a difficult time adulting today”

Maybe your life wouldn’t be so difficult if you’ve actually read a book in your life.

unspokenpictures.com

unspokenpictures.com

Anja Wintour

[email protected]

Hello! Thanks for checking my blog out - I like you already! If you want to suggest a topic, please drop me a mail on [email protected] Email address is PR-friendly too! Love, Anja

5 Comments
  • Theresa Jansen Van Rensburg

    I’m with you re: number 5, yet my mother feels the need to ask me every Christmas if I want some and as for number 7 – I stopped at watching after the first F & F, no point in getting excited for the same type of action over and over. You may as well be a hamster on a wheel if that sh*t excites you!!

    December 10, 2015 at 9:13 am Reply
  • Siobhan

    Hahahahahahahhaahahahha I’m sorry – BRILLIANT POST!
    Fast and the Furious does nothing for me… but I’m going to say that I do enjoy trifle, but like how my Gran made it – jelly, custard, crushed peanuts and cream – no sponge or whatever. Maybe I miss how she made it every year more than the dessert itself actually (she fell ill so stopped doing things like that).

    December 10, 2015 at 9:53 am Reply
  • Lindsay Thomas

    This is the funnies post I’ve read in a long time. Thanks

    December 10, 2015 at 9:59 am Reply
  • Sonica

    Haha! Die het my hele week gemaak! Ek moet net sê, ekt in die teater gewerk vir ‘n paar maande, alle wit babas lyk vir my soos aartappels direk na geboorte. En dis ‘n insult as iemand direk na dit kan sê “ag hy/sy is so pragtig, lyk nes sy pa”

    December 10, 2015 at 11:10 am Reply
  • Lourika Reinders

    This post was hilarious!!!
    Just found your blog (SA Bloggers post) – and I agree with you on all of these, except, ek hou van my ma se trifle!! Looking forward to read more of your posts!!

    December 10, 2015 at 7:45 pm Reply

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